As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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