Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i already hear my dad disowning me
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
