East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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