Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
