Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
