Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
