Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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