There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
