Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
