He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
