airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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