i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
