absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
where are you?
Hypothermia
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
