Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
