so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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