I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
