Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
