none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
