Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
