I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
