my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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