yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
