U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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