I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize