he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
