She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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