I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
