Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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