quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
