I seem to have left my pride at pride
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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