One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
