Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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