Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
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