moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
