New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I think i got beer on your cat.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
