the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Randomize
