i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
