if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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