I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
