Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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