I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
