I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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