But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize