I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
