no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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