theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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