I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
