And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
