I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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