I just cut my nipple shaving
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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