There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize