im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
