i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
