I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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