Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
