Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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