The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
