is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
