Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
