I need help removing her.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
