I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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