whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
