I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
