Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
