I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
