omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize