Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
