Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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