Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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