tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
