ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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