all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
