Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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