They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
