Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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