How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
