I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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